5 WAYS TO STOP FAILING AT LIFE
Krystal A. Tomlinson
It is rare that we stop to assess the ways in which we are betraying our true selves as we go through the motions of daily life. With so much to focus on and so many opinions on how we should live, this hyperconnected society is the definition of Opinion Overload. There are images showing us what “relationship goals” should be and what “bae” should look like and what success entails and what beauty standards to subscribe to. If you’re not careful, you get caught in the hype of living to impress others and never living up to your own standards of success.
That needs to end! If you feel as though you’re spiralling out of control with no sense of where north is on your compass, then it’s time to hit the reset button and start living the life you deserve to live. The one that gives you the highest sense of fulfilment. The one that is in tandem with your values and your definition of success. The one that fills you with passion and not panic!
1. Stop asking permission – Not everyone’s opinion counts and not everyone who counts has a sensible opinion. Who cares if everyone you love doesn’t believe in your dream? That’s why it is your dream and not theirs. Failing to act in pursuit of your purpose just so others can be happy with your choices will leave you miserable all your life. No one cares more about your life than you do. If you are to take control and squeeze every ounce of life from life, it’s time you stepped out of the box that you’ve been put in and challenge yourself to do and be more. Don’t wait for approval and support from family and friends. Go find your success and their support will find you.
2. Make a plan – There is no example, anywhere in this universe, where a human being achieved excellence by ‘winging it’. High achievement is always preceded by a plan that was diligently followed. I often ask audiences whenever I present on the importance of designing our lives, if a cell phone matters more than their dreams. Because men and women sit in offices all day setting targets and timelines to develop a product, planning how they will launch the newest phone feature and respond to crises; strategizing how they will continue to grow and improve on the product. But human beings seem too lazy to do the same for their lives. So, does a cell phone matter more than your dreams? If not, where is your strategic plan for growth? How do you plan to invest in your skills and grow your assets? What are your timelines for achieving these goals?
3. Be ready to ACT – Now, there are quite a few million people who are proficient at planning but never act. They craft elaborate visions and grand schemes for success but when opportunity presents itself, they fail to take advantage. There is no sense in planning for success and watching as the train passes by. After you strategize, after you prepare, after you sharpen the weapon and aim…you must FIRE! Get out of your head and stop victimizing yourself with reasons you’re not ready yet. Take control of your NOW and ACT.
4. Ask, Ask, Ask – Someone has something that you need. Maybe it is experience, networks, resources but whatever it is, they have it and you want it! It helps you fulfil your goals. Just ask. The worst that can happen is that they say “No” and you are left in the same position you were anyway. It’s not a setback, it’s a set up. A set up for success. How? My friend Nicole Campbell says it best – You can’t get what you don’t have the courage to ask for. Reach out to those who can help and eventually you will become a big, bad Asking Machine.
5. Silence your inner critic – “You don’t deserve that good thing.” “You are over reaching and need to learn to settle with what you have.” “This level of success is for other people, not you.” “You’re not as bright as you think.” “You don’t have the talent or skill for this.” If you had a friend who spoke to you like this you would end the relationship in no time. So why allow your own voice to haunt you with thoughts of unworthiness? Stop bullying yourself with your own opinion. If you beat yourself up for every mistake or before you even try, how can you develop confidence in your ability to make the best decisions for your life? Give yourself some love, man! There are enough people in the world who stand ready to point out all your flaws and failures. In the privacy of your mind, lift yourself up. This is not to say you will make excuses for your poor behaviour. Encourage yourself to move beyond mistakes and take control of the power you have to redirect and improve the quality of your life.
Take good care of your dreams by making a plan to bring them into reality. Take good care of your mind by watering it with thoughts and ideas that bring you closer to your highest good. Take good care of you by living up to your standard of success and your picture of happiness. For more tips on how to harness the power of now, here’s a 10 minute power talk that you might enjoy - https://goo.gl/VXz3qU.
Stay blessed and #OnPurpose
Krystal A. Tomlinson